Payton Leigh — We like our MILFs with their faces wreathed in beatific smiles. It makes us think of mom. That way we don't feel so bad about abusing them, skinning our onion, then kicking their asses to the curb after it's all over. Because, if truth be told, mom with her constant yapping and complaining really got on our nerves, didn't she? And nerves build tension and tension hardens the sack. So nothing like a couple of quick bellowing roars from the beef bus to clear the valves of accumulated glop, we always say. Look at it this way, if women like Payton don't like it, they can always take a couple of fingers worth, besides. That should wipe the smile off any old puss. And send a message to mom.

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Kelly Leigh — The older the violin, the sweeter the music. And Kelly Leigh is one of those MILFs who can wring a man's Stradivarius limp with the equivalent of a Carnegie Hall performance. Then one day she met a smooth-talking town to town tonic peddler who thought he could teach Kelly a few new tricks. There's was a hasty romance of intoxicating dreams, cigarette smoke punctuated conversations and calculated hedonism. All because there were other towns and other women to sell tonic to. But while it lasted, Kelly decoded her body noises to realize that the cheaper the patter, the cheaper the man. MILF's get very philosophical that way.

Mercy 44FF — Don't let the industrial-sized Mercy fool ya. Sure, you could park a Hummer in the shadow of her ass. Sure, a fart from her could bring on the next wave of global warming. And, sure, the confluence of her flesh is way too elaborate a concept for even an Albert Einstein to explain. But a quiet smile from this emotionally vulnerable, however satisfied MILF, can make you feel like you're sliding down the sides of the universe. The question is, is it worth all that to feel like a poetic drug addict? Women such as the multi-layered Mercy bring such complex philosophical notions to the table. You got to love 'em for it.

Mistress Angellica — Mistress Angellica has this robust MILF ass that needs to be let out of its skirt for an afternoon walk. On such occasions, Angellica, with shades drawn, generally exercises discretion lest the kids in the neighborhood get the wrong idea. But this one time, Tommy, a door to door junk bond salesman, was operating on an incentive program and wouldn't take no for an answer. Tommy was very persistent and, with two hands steady, even offered to walk Angellica's ass for her. Under such compromising circumstances, Angellica could hardly say no. And who could blame her especially with the added bonus?

Mistress Angellica — And here we thought the Farrah Fawcett look went out with Billy Beer. Boy, were we barking up the wrong keg. With that hair do, the sly and beguiling Mistress Angellica appears to have stepped out of the pages of a 1980's skin rag. But a blow job being a blow job, our sense of current fashion and porno history is hardly a reason to turn away one, or even two of them. The good news is that Angellica's mouth is strictly now, even if there's four payments left on that MILF orthodontistry. But that's her business, and a steady diet of cock will soon give her a set of teeth to call her own.